When you read the title of this blog post, you might be thinking that I'm going to say something self-loathing yet really selfish and designed to capture your sympathy. If that sounds about right, then you can enjoy a sigh of relief. I won't do that here.
I turned 29 last month, and I can't help but think that my life has been a blur up until this point. Marriage, moves, kids, trying to figure out the meaning of life, etc...It's been a journey. I don't think I stopped nearly enough to just breathe and enjoy the moment. So, when I say that my thirties will be better, I don't mean that I haven't valued my life or that I hate how things have been up until now. No, things have been really good, but I just didn't know how to really live.
I dealt with anxiety and depression that was mostly undiagnosed for most of my adult life. I knew that something was wrong, but I couldn't admit that I needed help. I thought seeking help would mean that I was damaged or weird or weak or something. But the truth is, if you let yourself walk around in that state, you're really short-changing yourself. Don't do what I did. If you need help, get help, and then go on with your life.
For my thirties, my goal is to live the way I wish I would've lived during my twenties. Happy, fulfilled, grateful beyond measure. Humble, joyful, and building relationships. The list goes on.
2016 has been a particularly difficult one, for reasons that I don't want to go into right now. I can honestly say that the outcome, the fallout, has delivered me to a place where I wish I could have stood a long time ago. Am I perfect? Ummm...no. I won't ever be. But I love the little things. I cherish all the roles I serve. I pray for God to see my heart at his feet and that his will lives through me.
When I say that my thirties will be better, I mean that I'm excited about living with a new perspective. Maybe it's an affirmation. Maybe it's a realization. Maybe it's a declaration. Perhaps it's all of the above. I just know that I'm living a life that's a little different than mainstream, and I love it. I'm putting down roots for the first time, and I love it.
When I say that my thirties will be better, I'm also recognizing that there's been some times that I wouldn't want to repeat. There have been some things happen that I wouldn't want to relive. But that doesn't mean that I forget. I remember the things that caused so much disarray in my life, and I loosen my grasp on them just enough so that I can live out my life without repeating those same times. Yes, I'm speaking in vague terms. I don't want to go into details at this very moment, and I'm sure you can relate to this from your own life experiences. Maybe there's something that happened in your past that you've turned around and used for good.
So what's the takeaway? I'm almost 30, and I'm still trying to get my act together! I always thought that adults automatically knew what they were doing, but it turns out that it just takes time, experiences, and hard-earned wisdom. All I know is that I'm grateful to have another day to work on it.
About Heather Hawkins
Heather Hawkins is a professional copywriter with 4 years of PR, marketing, and entrepreneurial experience.
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